(Matthew 1:18-25)

18 This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. 19 Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. 20 As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. 21 And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet:23 “Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel,which means ‘God is with us.’” 24 When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife. 25 But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus

Last week I looked at the story of Mary. I suggested that she was actually a capable and a resourceful young lady. She travelled with Joseph from Nazareth to Bethlehem. At this point she was heavily pregnant and would probably not have had even the luxury of the donkey that we so fondly imagine. She was also likely to have walked the 80 mile journey. When the Angel Gabriel appeared she was taken aback but still took it in her stride. She had the wit to look beyond her immediate context and to sing out the Magnificat, a song of praise for the fact that she had been chosen as the mother of the Christ Child. It was not an easy thing that Gabriel had asked of her. She was aged 14, pregnant by the Holy Spirit and engaged to be married. An engagement would last up to one year. Jewish law took their engagement seriously. She faced being stoned for adultery if Joseph did not believe her story about the Angel.

I feel sorry for Joseph; he sounds like a decent man. When he found out Mary was pregnant, and not by him, he suffered in silence. There is no indication of the inner hurt and confusion that he must have felt. He responded to his crisis both justly and charitably. He resolved to break the solemn engagement rather than live a lie. That was justice. However, for Mary's sake, this would be done "privately". That was charity. Joseph did not want to subject Mary to public scorn. Then the angel appeared to him, and he accepted the role of surrogate father. Mary got the Angel Gabriel where as Joseph got ‘an angel’. Joseph was not a wealthy man – he could not afford a horse and maybe not even a donkey to get his wife to Bethlehem. He could not get a room at the inn, only a cattle stall. He may have thought himself a failure as a provider, as many a man feels today if he cannot afford to give his family "the best."

When Mary learnt of the fact that she was going to be pregnant by the Holy Spirit she went to visit her kinswoman Elizabeth. There is no indication, in the story, that she told Joseph before she went. This suggests that there must have been some thought in her mind that she would have to raise Jesus as a single mother. The angel appeared to Joseph because God wanted him to take on the role of foster father to Jesus and the indication is that he did a very good job of it - the last thing Scripture says about Joseph is that Christ was subject to him and Mary and grew in soul and body (Luke 2:51-52).

It is not an easy thing that God asks of Joseph – to love a child that is not his own. The reality of current family living means that either parent can be involved in bringing up a child that is not their own. This intervention by God offers a pertinent reflection to current family living where the role of the man (or the woman) can easily become marginalised in the upbringing of the children. What this passage highlights is the important role of the parent in (what is known as) the ‘blended’ families that are so familiar today.